I've always wanted to date someone hotter than me. I think we all sometimes have that desire. We just want to know what it'd be like to date someone completely and utterly out of our league. Well that's O. He's massively tall, has big beautiful eyes, killer eyebrows, and a great smile. He is competitive in stupid card games, which I like because I am too. We both seem comfortable talking to each other about everything and anything. And to top it all off, he seems to be into me. He kissed me after our second date. But for some strange reason, I don't want to go on another date with him. Why? I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE!
"I'm just not feeling it." It's the most unsatisfying answer ever because it provides absolutely no closure. What does that even mean? Maybe I should've given him more time. Maybe the kiss on the second date scared me for what the third date might entail. Maybe I subconsciously didn't like something about him and don't realize it. Maybe I feel like I haven't dated enough. Maybe things felt rushed since he's going out of town. Maybe...maybe I'm just an asshole. It's all possible.
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C, aka the sweetest human on this planet. He has really nice blue eyes. But unfortunately...that's all I found attractive about him. Oof. Harsh. I know. I like to think I'm more into someone's personality than their looks, but I also need to be attracted to someone to want to date them and not just be their friend.
We met to play board games. (I'm beginning to see a pattern in my own dating habits...) We had a beer and chatted while I crushed him in a card game. (He later beat me in a board game, but we won't talk about that.) I could tell he was really into me which made it easy to be flirtatious. You know when a guy looks at you and you're just like, "Wow, I've got this," and you just suddenly have all of the confidence in the world? Well that was me with C. It was a fun time. We texted sporadically later, but then I finally texted to tell him I "didn't think it'd work out." And just to prove what a sweety he is...he didn't even ask why! He didn't need any closure. Sometimes I feel like such an asshole turning down guys. To a certain extent, I feel like they're doing me a favor by going out with me because I had cancer and don't feel totally me. But then when I later turn them down, they must feel so terrible because they can't even get the "cancer girl" to go out with them. Oof. The dating world it a rough place, my friends. I decided to spend the majority of my 4th of July with a total stranger. Enter A. We meet at a bar near both of our apartments and seem to really hit it off, eating German food and having a few beers. We head downtown to see the parade, fireworks, a concert, and other holiday festivities but take a detour at another bar first.
Me being me. I don't want to spend my ENTIRE 4th with someone I don't really know. So what do I do? I suggest we meet up with my roommate, his girlfriend, and...get this...her parents. Yup, that's right. I invited my roommate's girlfriend's parents to join our date. Soon after meeting us, her mom says, "So this is y'alls first date, huh?" in her thick Georgia accent. I'm so good at this dating thing. Needless to say, he left right after the fireworks started. On the one hand, we did spend almost five hours together by the end of our date, and he texted me quite a bit on his way home. On the other hand, he didn't text me at all the next day. Or any day after that for that matter. I fully admit, I fucked this one up. Even if it's not your parents, I think a good rule of thumb is to never introduce your first date to any parents. Oh well. You live, you learn. Right before walking into the coffee shop, B texts me that he's in the far back corner. He suggested a coffee shop, and I've strategically chosen this particular coffee shop knowing that it closes early. So if the date isn't going well, I have an easy out. And boy, did I need that out.
I walk to the back to find he's ordered without me. Although, I do admit, I like ordering together just because there's a nice conversation that goes along with ordering. Ya know where you ask what they're getting and they ask what you're getting. And you get a little insight into what they're like. Do they like sweet drinks? Do they like it hot? Do they like it cold? Are they high maintenance? Do they need all the bells and whistles? Are they straightforward? Do they take their coffee black? But whatever. I order my drink, sit down, and know within about 30 seconds this is going to be bad. Pro tip, gentlemen: If you can't think of what to say, LITERALLY ASK HER THE SAME QUESTION SHE ASKED YOU 2 SECONDS AGO. He talks down to me and definitely thinks I'm much too vapid for his tastes. I'm supposed to be impressed that he went to a fancy-ass university. Only I literally go to the same university he went to... My second favorite part of the whole date (my first favorite part being when it ended) was when I asked him about his choice in drinks. He ordered orange juice and a brownie. He goes on to tell me about how he hates coffee and tea and basically all hot drinks. WHY ON EARTH DID YOU SUGGEST WE GO TO A COFFEE SHOP?! So I was late. I'll admit that much. A solid 15 mins. Ok, maybe a little more. I did something wrong, and I'm sorry.
But... That's no excuse for holding my cupcake hostage for the WHOLE DATE! Rude. Let me back up. We decide to meet at a local cupcake place then head over to the [insert performing arts/cultural center] Center to see a Latin American music concert. I'm excited because he seems cute and fun and educated. Since I was late, he suggests not wasting time and heading straight to the cultural center after buying our cupcakes. Ok, fine. So we buy our cupcakes. I pay for mine, and he pays for his as the cashier puts them in the same bag and hands it to S. I came straight from work and am HUNGRY AF. So I want my cupcake. Whatever, we will eat and walk and talk. I can multitask. Now I'm not a girl who cares much if my date pays for my food. I really don't have a protocol for it. If you ask, fine. If you don't ask, fine. If you pay, fine. If I pay, fine. BUT. If I buy my own cupcake, I GET TO DECIDE WHEN TO EAT IT! So our whole walk over to the concert, all I'm thinking about is this damn cupcake. When we get to the cultural center, I think "Great! Now we can eat cupcakes!" Wrong. We get our seats in the concert hall and eating isn't allowed...so he puts the cupcakes under his chair. Devastated. After the first song, I'm not terribly attached to the concert and he doesn't seem to be either. All I want to do is eat. So I suggest we leave. But he wants to listen to one more song. And before you know it, we've stayed for the whole concert. Then he insists we eat the cupcakes on the roof for a good view. So I play along because I can tell he's trying to make it romantic. We go up, we see the view, I oo and ah for him (it was legitimately beautiful), then I beeline it for the picnic table. We are going to eat. I essentially INHALE my delicious chocolaty goodness only to look up and see he has barely eaten half. I make fun of my messy eating and mention how he has barely touched his. He says, he was waiting to see if I wanted to try some before he finished it. It's some shitty fruit flavor (aka, not chocolate), so I thank him but decline. We wrap things up and walk back to the cupcake place so I can get my bike and head home. Hugs and goodbye. From my perspective, he stole my cupcake. From his perspective, I was some crazy girl who couldn't go 3 seconds without food. But once again, he stole my food. I couldn't have acted that crazy because he texted me for awhile afterwards, but things fizzled. It wasn't just the cupcake. There were other things that made us incompatible. I swear. |
AuthorOne girl's journey diving head first into the world of app dating all while trying to regrow some hair Archives
November 2019
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